Two Weeks Earlier
by Marathon Zack 140.6
Summary: What if Sheldon and Penny met before she moved into 4B? This is not Canon (and unfortunately doesn't include any cannons, either, which is a disappointment). SHENNY. Not Leonard/Amy friendly. SHENNY.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The story is completely written, so updates will be frequent. It's 4 chapters, 15,078 words total. I wrote most of this 6 months ago, but never finished it; decided I should finally dust it off again and finish it.**

 **A/N 2: Pre-S1/Early S1, but** **set in approximately the current year; so 2018 technology/movies/etc.**

* * *

Sheldon knew it was 'date night'. But he really, really didn't want to go. She would be as pushy as ever, forcing him to go to some restaurant he didn't approve of, and then attempting to spread her germs to him. He'd managed to avoid all her attempts to kiss his lips so far, but even he could only be so vigilant. Eventually she would manage to surprise him. There had been a few close calls already, and as soon as she successfully executed a lip on lip kiss, she'd move on to attempting even more physical intimacy. He was sick and tired of it, but everyone he knew insisted he date this girl; his roommate, his roommate's friends, his mother, and, of course, his 'girlfriend'. Sure, she was highly intelligent, and he liked talking science with her, but could no one understand that he had absolutely no interest in her romantically? Just because they all believed everyone should have sex all the time and eventually get married didn't mean he did.

He opened a new tab on his laptop. He knew he would have hell to pay for this tomorrow, but he would deal with that when the time came. He pulled up the city's restaurant health reviews website, and searched for somewhere to escape to. None of his regular places would work, they would search all of those when he didn't show up for mandatory date night; he'd tried skipping out before, and they had always tracked him down and forced him to have date night at whatever restaurant he was trying to escape at.

After thirty minutes of searching, he finally found one within walking distance of both the university, and his apartment. If he was going to have to eat at a restaurant he was unsure about, he certainly didn't want to have to take the bus as well.

Ten minutes before he was supposed to be off work, he slipped out of his office and quietly locked the door behind him. After his numerous recent attempts to escape date night, his roommate and his roommate's two friends had started showing up at his office five minutes before work let out to make sure he didn't escape.

Twenty minutes later, he found himself walking into the parking lot of the restaurant he had found. He had little doubt that he had already received several dozen calls and texts, but as he had turned his phone off before he left his office, his phone was pleasantly silent. Walking into the restaurant, he found himself seated at a table in the corner a few minutes later. He was intently looking at his menu whenever the waitress came over. Briefly glancing up at her, he saw that she was what society would deem 'aesthetically pleasing', but he also noticed that there seemed to be something slightly off about her. He had never been able to understand human emotions, but there was definitely something wrong.

"Hi. Welcome to the Cheesecake Factory. My name is Penny, I'll be taking care of you this evening. What can I get you to drink?"

Sheldon ordered a water, and went back to studying the menu.

When she returned with his drink a few minutes later, he looked at her more fully. There was definitely some emotion hidden behind her cheerful smile, but it was one he didn't immediately recognize. It wasn't the anger his girlfriend had every time he parried her advances. It wasn't the frustration his roommate seemed to perpetually have on his face anytime he was around Sheldon. It seemed more similar to the looks his mother and sister used to occasionally have when he was still a child at home, or visiting on break from college and graduate school, but he had never fully learned what those meant.

"Do you know what you want to order?" she asked, bringing him out of his thoughts.

She definitely sounded tired, that much he could tell.

"Well, I have never eaten here before, so I don't know what's good."

"Well, what'd'ya like at other restaurants?" she asked. She'd had a rough few weeks, and this evening hadn't been any better, so she wasn't really in the mood to help difficult customers. But this one seemed a little different, and at least wasn't trying to touch her or flirt with her, and he really did seem out of his comfort zone.

"Well, at Big Boy I get 'the Big Boy'—" he began.

"Then why don't you get the Barbecue Burger. It's pretty close." She was willing to help him, but she still wasn't in the mood to put up with a long-winded discussion.

After looking at the BBQ Burger description on the menu for several more seconds, Sheldon finally said, "All right, I'll have the barbecue bacon cheeseburger, barbecue sauce, bacon, and cheese on the side."

As he waited on his food, he thought back over their brief interaction, and what he could notice from watching her wait on her other tables. He wasn't really the type to care about other people's feelings — okay, he never cared about other people's feelings — but there was something about this girl that he just couldn't get out of his mind. It was like his eidetic memory was trying to tell him something, but for the first time in his life he wasn't sure what it was.

So when she brought him his food, he said, "Penny, I don't mean to pry, and I'm certainly not one for understanding emotions, but you seem to be upset about something."

A minute later, Penny found herself sitting in the chair across from him, pouring out her life story to him. She had no clue how it had happened, but now that she had started, she had to get it all out. It didn't matter what he thought of her once she finished (it's not like she'd ever see him again, anyway), it just felt really good to have somebody to finally tell everything to; and he was a really good listener (well, he never interrupted her at least, even if she wasn't sure he was actually listening to anything she said).

When she got to the part about Kurt cheating on her, and implications of abuse, it finally clicked in Sheldon's brain why her expressions had seemed somehow familiar even though he didn't recognize them; it was similar to the looks his mother had had whenever his father had gotten particularly drunk, or the occasional times he'd been home from graduate school and his sister had come home from one of her boyfriends.

When she finally finished her story, Sheldon handed her a napkin to wipe away the tears she had started shedding by the middle of her story. He knew she needed comfort and encouragement, but he had no idea how to provide it. Since he didn't know how to comfort her, he decided to instead address what he saw as the pressing issue instead.

"Penny, if you don't mind me asking, why do you stay with him if he's cheating on you and abusing you?"

When he said 'abusing you', Penny turned beet red and stuttered, "I-I never said he was abusing me."

"You had the same look on your face when I first saw you that my mother and sister used to have when my father was drunk or when my sister came back from some of her less trustworthy boyfriends. And if I'm not mistaken, a blush is a common reaction when one is embarrassed about a truth someone has revealed about them."

Penny went even redder as she looked down at her hands. She finally whispered, "I'm scared," hoping he couldn't hear her.

Unfortunately for her (or perhaps fortunately), she didn't know that her customer had Vulcan hearing. Sheldon sat looking at her for several minutes, unsure of how to help her. After a couple minutes, wiping the last of her tears away, Penny stood up and said with a small smile, "I have to get back to work, but thank you for listening."

A few minutes later, she returned with a slice of cheesecake, and setting it down in front of him, said, "This is thanks for taking the time to listen to me."

Sheldon hadn't said a word to her after she had almost silently admitted that she was scared, but when she picked up his bill after he had left, she saw he had included a short note along with a sizable tip. It said;

 _I am sorry for not being more comforting, but I had no clue how. However, even though I do not know you, I do not wish for you to have to go through what you're going through. I have left my cell phone number at the bottom, please call or text me if you would like to talk. I also work at Cal-Tech, office 42, if you would like to talk in person._

 _—_ _Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D. (x2)_

* * *

It wasn't until he was outside that Sheldon remembered that he was trying to avoid his girlfriend and roommate, and that he still had several hours to go if he was to do so successfully. He decided that his safest bet was to go back to the University and hide in one of the teacher's lounges that he had keys for. Perks of being a tenured scientist on the fast track for a Nobel.

He had nearly drifted off to sleep lying on one of the couches when his iPhone buzzed. He'd turned his phone back on when he left the restaurant in case Penny decided to take him up on his offer. When he looked at it, he saw a message from Penny (along with a few dozen unlooked at messages, calls and voicemails from everyone else he knew, including his mother);

 _This is Penny, from the cheesecake factory. Thanks again for listening. I was wondering if you might be willing to have lunch tomorrow to talk. I have the evening shift again, so I can meet whenever your lunch break is. Thx_

Sheldon thought for a second, and then quickly texted back; _Does 12:00 at the café just off campus work for you? It's called 'The Café at the End of the Universe-ity'_.

He didn't go there often, but it met his health requirements (if just barely), and he knew that none of his friends or girlfriend would go looking for him there. He wasn't entirely sure why, but he didn't want them to meet Penny yet.

A few minutes later she texted back; _Sounds good, sweetie. C u there_

He looked at the time on his phone; he should really go home, it was getting quite late. He didn't mind walking from the University to his apartment building in the dark — he had his everyday carry (a Berreta M9) on his hip like always, after all — but he was slightly worried that Amy and Leonard would still be up, waiting for him to get back to his apartment. So he lay his phone on the ground next to the couch he was lying on, and went to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Sheldon was awoken by the sound of one of the PhD candidates who taught several undergraduate classes, unlocking the teachers' lounge door. He looked up at the young female as she entered the room; he had always considered her to be aesthetically pleasing, but after having met Penny the night before, she didn't seem to quite match up to the waitress's physical appearance.

"Morning, Dr. Cooper," the brunette said pleasantly as she walked over to the coffee machine. Unlike most of the female PhD candidates, who constantly hounded him, much to his, and his roommate's, irritation — his, because he had no interest in being propositioned by every pretty female that came through, and his roommate's, because _he_ was never the one being propositioned — this one was content with light pleasantries and the occasional scientific discussion on the more advanced points of string theory, and Sheldon appreciated that.

"Good morning," he replied succinctly, sitting up and grabbing his phone off the floor.

After a brief discussion with her about the progress of her doctoral thesis, he snuck into his office a few minutes before the trio plus one usually arrived for work, and locked his door so that he couldn't be interrupted. It didn't take long before said friends began accosting his door. After a couple hours of unsuccessful attempts to gain entry, including several failed attempts to pick the lock (Sheldon had installed specialty locks so that no one could break in and steal his research), they finally went away; in no small part to Dr. Gablehauser walking through the hallway, asking them why they weren't in their offices working, after Sheldon called Dr. Gablehauser, telling him he couldn't get a hold of any of them on their office phones.

Fifteen minutes before twelve, Sheldon cautiously snuck out of his office, locking it behind him, and took a back way through the halls to get out onto the campus, before heading to the café. Arriving just at the strike of noon, he saw Penny seated in a secluded corner booth, beneath a large "Don't Panic" sign. He quickly made his way over to her, and sat down.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the University cafeteria, Leonard, Howard, Raj, and Amy sat down at their normal table for lunch.

"Still no word on Sheldon's whereabouts?" Leonard asked the table. The table sat there, as motionless and silent as ever. Everyone sitting around the table shook their heads and mumbled in the negative. "He never came back to the apartment last night, and we couldn't find him at any of his normal restaurants or the University," Leonard continued.

"Missing Dr. Dumbass?" smirked Dr. Leslie Winkle as she strolled up, planting herself in front of their table. "Maybe he's just avoiding you guys," she continued smugly. "I saw him sneaking through the back corridors about ten minutes ago, I assume heading out to lunch somewhere."

"He was here?" asked Amy, excitedly.

"Not to begin to sound like Dr. Dumbass, but yeah, that's what I just said," replied Leslie with a roll of her eyes. "Well, best of luck finding him. Or not, I could care less," she finished as she strolled off.

As soon as she was gone, Leonard leaned forward and whispered loudly, "All right, we need to put one person outside his office, someone at the front and back entrances of the building, and I'll call off work for the day and go back to the apartment in case he tries to go there."

They all quickly agreed, and after settling where each of them was to go, they headed off; Leonard to the apartment, Amy to Sheldon's office, and Howard and Raj to cover the two main entrances.

* * *

Back at the café, Sheldon and Penny had placed their orders. Once the waitress walked away, Penny said, "So you pretty much know my life story from last night, but what about you? Other than you saying you were a doctor in the note you left me, and mentions of your family, I don't really know anything about you. And no offense, but if I'm going to talk to you, I'd kind of like to know something about who I'm talking to."

"Of course. Smart girl," replied Sheldon. "I am Doctor Sheldon Cooper, double Ph.D." He then proceeded to tell her all about himself, from being a child genius, to earning two , to his goal of one day winning the Nobel Prize.

When he finished, Penny said, "So you're, one of those, beautiful mind genius guys."

"Yeah," he replied bashfully, looking down at his hands.

"Well, you seem trustworthy," responded Penny. "So does your offer to talk still stand?"

"Of course, Penny. Else I wouldn't be here."

"Alright then, here goes. Last night you asked why I didn't break up with Kurt. And the truth is —"

"You're scared," interrupted Sheldon, nodding his head slightly.

"Uh, yeah. How'd you know that?" said Penny, surprised. "Oh, wait, you said your mother and sister had been through the same thing."

"No. I heard you say it last night. I just didn't know how to respond. I have Vulcan hearing, so I hear everything, and I have eidetic memory, so I remember everything."

"Wait, Vulcan hearing, isn't that like some kind of Star Trek thing or something?" asked Penny.

"Well done, Penny!" replied Sheldon, with the first real smile she'd seen from him.

"Hey, I like some sci-fi and action movies. On a dare from a fellow acting student who saw me watching Star Trek: Into Darkness on my phone before class, I memorized a bunch of the Klingon language, and would do some of the lines we were practicing in class in Klingon for her before class started. I figured there was no reason to ever mention that I'd memorized most of Sindarian in high school after reading the Lord of the Rings," Penny finished with a smile, proud of herself.

"I wouldn't have taken a waitress slash aspiring actress to be a sci-fi fantasy nerd," replied Sheldon in surprise.

"Other than those two things, I wouldn't really consider myself a nerd. But I do like some of the less 'girly' things every now and then," answered Penny. "But since I know you have work to get back to, let's get back to what I really wanted to talk about. Yes, I'm scared to leave Kurt. It's not exactly that I think he'll come find me and hurt me if I leave him, but it's just really hard to leave him. I've been with him the past four years, I moved out here with him from Nebraska, pretty much the only friends I have are his friends, I don't have a clue where I'd live if I left him…"

She looked like she was about to cry again, which was disturbing Sheldon more than a crying woman usually did.

"There, there," said Sheldon awkwardly, reaching across the table to lightly pat her hand a couple times. It was the sheer unusualness of it that caused Penny's forming tears to stop. When he said he didn't have a clue how to be comforting, he wasn't kidding; though in a weird way, that made his awkward attempts at being comforting more comforting than most guys' shallow attempts at comfort that were just meant to enable them to get back to whatever they had been doing as quickly as possible.

"Sorry," she said, wiping away the few tears that had formed in the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand. "I'm just completely lost."

"Well, it's not my place to say, but I do think you would be better off without him," said Sheldon slowly.

"No, you're right," replied Penny. "I was thinking about it all last night after we talked, and I do need to leave him. I just don't know how. I need someone to help me, and you're the only person I trust to do so; even though I just met you."

Before Sheldon could reply, the waitress arrived with their food. They ate in a comfortable silence for several minutes, before Sheldon finally said, "I don't know how I can help you, but I would like to try. One thing I left out of my life story was that I too am, if you will, trapped in a relationship I have no desire to be in. My friends and family have all pressured me into a relationship with this girl, and while I have no problem being friends with her, there is nothing vaguely romantic about my feelings toward her. But my friends and family either refuse to understand that, or don't care. So while it's not as bad as your relationship sounds, I somewhat understand what you are going through, and I would like to help you."

"Well, perhaps we can help each other somehow," replied Penny.

An hour later, Penny looked at the time on her phone and gasped. "I had no idea what time it was! I'm so sorry, I've made you really late for work!"

She had started to scramble up when Sheldon calmly said, "I already informed my boss that I wouldn't be coming back in this afternoon. I called him when you went to use the restroom."

"Oh." was all Penny could think to say as she sat back down. "You didn't have to do that. My problems shouldn't keep you from work."

"I believe we agreed that they are _our_ problems now," he responded, "since you agreed to help me with my own problematic relationship. And anyway, I have no doubt my friends and girlfriend are lying in wait to ambush me if I go back to the University. With any luck, they'll be caught by our boss again, and maybe they won't spend all their time at work bothering me after this. So please, continue, I have all afternoon."

At four thirty, Penny finally said goodbye to Sheldon, thanking him once again for being willing to talk to her and help her. Before heading to her car, she gave him a quick kiss on the side of his cheek. From their talk, she knew he was a mysophobe (and had learned what a mysophobe _was_ ), but as outgoing of a person as she was, she couldn't help but give some expression of her thanks. When he didn't pull away or say anything about it, she smiled to herself.

After he watched her get in her car and drive off, he began the walk back to his apartment. Thirty minutes later, right at five o'clock, he walked up the stairs to apartment 4A. He briefly glanced over at the now empty apartment across the hall, 4B. Their 200 pound transvestite neighbor with the skin condition had moved out the week before, and so far no one new had moved in. Taking a deep breath to prepare himself for the ensuing fireworks, he opened the door to his apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

"Where the HELL have you been!?" screamed Leonard before Sheldon had even fully opened the door to the apartment. Leonard scrambled around, and finding his phone, immediately called Amy to tell her Sheldon was there. As he did so, Sheldon went to the fridge to get a bottle of water, before going back to his spot on the couch and launching Halo.

As soon as Leonard finished his call with Amy, he rounded on his roommate. "Where on earth have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you for two days now! You missed date night, you never came home last night, and we never saw you at work today!"

"I got busy on a problem, and just slept at work," replied Sheldon nonchalantly, nary a tick in sight. He wasn't lying, after all; he had been busy thinking about Penny's problem, and he had slept at work.

"You should have called! Your girlfriend would have gladly picked you up from work, no matter how late it was!"

"I'll try to remember that next time I work late," said Sheldon, laughing in his head at the joke he made about him not remembering something.

"Well, she'll be over here shortly, and you guys can have your date night tonight," replied Leonard, as he discretely texted Howard and Raj, telling them Sheldon had reappeared, and not to come over because Sheldon and Amy were going to have a date night.

"Tonight is Halo night. You know that."

"This isn't an option Sheldon," admonished Leonard.

"Neither is Halo night," responded Sheldon. "Or do I need to remind you of Section 4, Paragraph 6 of the Roommate Agreement?"

Fifteen minutes later, Amy arrived bearing supper and an extremely bad attitude. Briefly pausing the game to grab his food out of the bag, he unpaused the game and proceeded to play while eating, hoping it would discourage the other two from bothering him.

It did not.

Almost immediately Amy demanded, "Turn off that stupid video game, and tell me where you've been for the past two days!"

As he shot another enemy, Sheldon replied, "I got busy on a problem, and slept at work," attention fully focused on the game.

After waiting impatiently for a few seconds for him to turn the game off and start paying attention to her, when he didn't she finally yelled, "Sheldon! Turn that stupid thing off right NOW, and pay attention to me! Since you missed date night last night, we are having it tonight!"

"Tonight is Halo night," responded Sheldon calmly, unfazed by Amy's outburst, his attention never wavering from the tv screen.

Fully pissed off at his roommate's behavior, Leonard strode over to the tv and yanked the power cord out of the wall, plunging the screen into total darkness. Without a word, Sheldon set his controller on the coffee table, picked up his meal, and walked back to his room, closing and locking the door behind him.

For the next couple hours, Leonard and Amy alternated pounding on his door and yelling, to no avail. Sheldon plugged his headphones into his laptop, and pulled up Age of Conan to drown them out and pass the time. He sent a brief text to Penny: _I know you are working, so I don't expect you to be able to reply to this until after I have gone to bed, but due to my roommate and girlfriend, I am hiding in my room playing Age of Conan for the rest of the evening. I hope you have a good shift, and if you want to talk at all on your break, I will be available_.

A few minutes later, he got a reply back: _Love to, Sheldon_ :)

Throughout the rest of the evening, he texted with Penny off and on. Certainly more often than just her breaks, Sheldon knew; he was going to have admonish her later for texting him while she was supposed to be working.

* * *

The following morning, an hour or two after he got into work, he received a text from Penny asking if he wanted to meet for lunch again; she promised she'd let him go after 30 minutes this time.

"Hi Sheldon!" she said cheerfully as she walked up the sidewalk right as he walked across the street from the university campus.

"You seem extra chipper today," commented Sheldon as he held the door open for her.

"No work today, and my boyfriend is out of town tonight, so I can binge watch the Lord of the Rings all afternoon and evening without him making fun of me or stealing the tv to watch football on."

They followed the waitress over to the same table they had had the day before.

"So did you have anything specific you wanted to talk about today?" asked Sheldon, once they had sat down and the waitress had left to fill their drink orders.

"Nope," Penny replied brightly. "Just wanted someone to have lunch with, and figured you might want lunch away from your friends and girlfriend."

Sheldon just nodded as he looked at the menu, despite already knowing everything on it, and knowing he was going to order the same thing he had had the day before. After they ordered a few minutes later, Penny looked around at all the memorabilia on the walls, and commented, "Quite the sci-fi collection in here; is that why you like this place?"

"I actually only eat here on rare occasions, I just knew my friends wouldn't think to come looking here, because they don't know I'm willing to eat here. And it does have quite the sci-fi collection." Pointing up at the sign above them he said, "That, along with the name of the restaurant, is from The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, one of the less mainstream, and slightly more unusual science fiction worlds." Pointing out other various articles he said, "You should recognize those swords and knives as Lord of the Rings. The model car and emf meter over there in front of the large painting of the car are from Supernatural. The dark-skinned man in the wild coat is the Marquis de Carabas, from Neverwhere. Good urban fantasy novel. There is Sherlock over there. The restroom doors are painted like the TARDIS, from Doctor Who. Which is a fabulous show, and I highly recommend it."

Penny and Sheldon spent the rest of their lunch chatting about various science fiction shows and books and movies.

As they parted ways in front of the restaurant, Penny quickly leaned over and gave him another quick peck on the cheek, saying, "Thanks for lunch, and the chance to talk about something other than sports. See you later!"

And then she skipped off down the sidewalk, leaving Sheldon to stare after her for several seconds before walking back to his office.

* * *

That evening, not long after Sheldon and Amy had been seated at some fancy restaurant that Amy had picked out without regards to Sheldon's health standards preferences, Sheldon pulled out his phone. He briefly thought about checking the latest scientific news, but decided to text Penny instead. Amy had been talking non-stop since she had dragged him from his apartment thirty minutes earlier, rambling on and on about all the cute and adorable kids she had seen over the last few days, and how it warmed her heart oh so very much.

 _She works at a university with monkeys, and the only kid in her entire apartment building is an obvious bully; when on earth does she expect me to believe she's seen all these 'cute and adorable' children she's claiming to have seen?_ Sheldon grumbled in his mind.

It didn't take a genius mind like Sheldon's to figure out what she was trying to do. So Sheldon had almost immediately tuned her out, and replayed his day in his mind, going over everything he'd done at work, and his lunch with Penny. But with an eidetic memory, it didn't take him long to completely run through his day, and now he was left with an entire dinner to suffer through.

 _Want to meet for lunch again tomorrow?_ He texted.

A minute later he got a reply: _Working the day shift, how bout after work?_

 _That would be acceptable._

It took several minutes for Amy to notice that Sheldon was no longer even pretending to listen to her. "What are you doing!?" she practically shouted, causing several tables nearby to turn and look at her.

"Reading the latest article in _Physics Weekly_ ," he replied, quickly changing apps and holding out his phone for her to see.

"Give me that!" she growled, attempting to grab his phone, but Sheldon was too quick and experienced, and safely tucked it away in his pocket.

He spent the remaining hour and a half of their date running through some of the more complex mathematical proofs in his head, whilst nodding and giving the occasional "uh-huh" to keep Amy satisfied.

* * *

Over the next two weeks, Sheldon met with Penny for lunch or after work on most days, helping her build up the courage to leave Kurt, and to come up with a plan to move on with her life.

One day he casually mentioned that he'd heard that apartment 4B on 2311 North Los Robles Avenue was open, and that she might want to look into moving there; the apartment was decent sized, and the rent was pretty cheap, if he wasn't mistaken (especially after he told the landlord he would pay half the rent if the tenant was a blonde waitress by the name Penny Queen).

Sheldon also took a keen interest in Penny's aspirations to become an actress. One thing he noticed talking with her was that she seemed to lack confidence; no doubt due in part to being with an abusive boyfriend for the past four years. But this lack of confidence not only made it harder for her to land acting roles, but also made it more difficult for her to break up with said boyfriend.

While researching ways to help people in abusive relationships, he had come across numerous articles saying that the lack of confidence often caused by an abusive relationship could easily lead to future abusive relationships, or a return to the original relationship. And the last thing he wanted was for her to escape her relationship with Kurt, just to fall back into another abusive relationship with some other guy, or go back to Kurt.

As determined as Penny seemed to be to become an actress, Sheldon was sure that if she could just land a few acting roles, small as they might be, her confidence would increase, and she would have better chances at landing more acting roles in the future. An increase in confidence would also help her to escape her current relationship, and avoid finding herself in another (or even worse, the same) bad relationship in the future.

But he wasn't sure how she would take to him meddling in her acting career, so he decided to keep his efforts to himself for the time being, until he actually had something concrete. He called several contacts he had made with university donors in the film industry, asking for tips on how to help her land a role, and roles they suggested she audition for.

In addition to talking about Penny and Kurt, they also discussed Sheldon's own problems with Amy, along with general things about their life, work, and future aspirations.

Each time they met, she always kissed him on the cheek goodbye. Sheldon never said a thing about it, and while he never gave any indication as to whether he liked it or not, he never tried to stop her. In fact, he was rather surprised himself to find that he was not appalled by it, despite having spent the past year avoiding all of Amy's advances.

As for Penny, she wasn't sure what made her keep kissing him goodbye. She knew that he didn't approve of people touching him, and especially not kissing him (even his girlfriend he didn't like), but he never seemed to be bothered by her touches or kisses, so she explained it away that she was just curious how long he would let her do it.

A few days before she planned on breaking up with Kurt, Penny had an idea.

"I thought of a way I think we can both really help each other, continuing what we're already doing here. But hear me out before you reject it. So, if I'm getting the right idea, you have no desire to be in any romantic relationship at all, right?"

"Yes," responded Sheldon, before taking a bite of his lunch. They were back at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe-ity, which had become their normal spot for lunch.

"And I'm in no place to try to be in a relationship again right now, either. So I propose that we 'date' each other for a while," Penny continued, making air quotes around the word "date". "And before you say no," she hurried on before he could reject her idea before hearing all of it, "we wouldn't actually be dating each other. We would just be friends like we are now. But to everyone around us, it would look like we were in a relationship, and they would hopefully leave us alone and not try to force us into relationships we don't want to be in. Your girlfriend, Amy, will obviously be upset that you're dating someone else so quickly, but I'm sure she'll eventually get over it, and she and your roommate won't be able to try to force you two back together if you're dating another girl."

"If only that were actually true," mumbled Sheldon.

"And for me, it will be a self-morale booster, because Kurt's friends won't be able to tell me that I'll never be able to get a boyfriend other than Kurt, and I won't try to jump into another relationship before I'm ready," finished Penny.

Sheldon thought for a few minutes. "What precisely would this fake relationship entail?"

* * *

The day before Penny and Sheldon were to break up with their significant others, Sheldon received an email from one of his donor friends. Though it was last minute, the donor wanted to know if Sheldon's friend could make an audition the next day. The original actress had dropped out at the last minute, and they needed a blond Midwesterner for a few bit parts on a new tv show that had been green-lit for ten episodes, and could continue if it was well received.

Sheldon said that he'd pass the information on, and promptly texted Penny to let her know.

* * *

Two weeks after Sheldon and Penny first met, Penny broke up with Kurt and moved out.


	3. Chapter 3

Leonard and Sheldon walked up the stairs to their apartment. Sheldon was talking about the heights of the stairs and an experiment he had conducted as a child, and Leonard was trying his hardest to ignore him. Leonard had had a long day at work, and wasn't in the mood to hear any of Sheldon's facts. When they got to the fourth floor, Leonard looked across the hall while Sheldon unlocked the door to 4A.

"New neighbor?" said Leonard, looking through the open door into the not so empty apartment across the hall.

"Evidently," replied Sheldon, wondering how his roommate could think it anything other than that, given all the moving boxes and the blonde standing in the middle of the room facing away from them, unpacking a box.

"Significant improvement over the old neighbor," commented Leonard dreamily, looking lustfully at the blonde's ass.

"Two hundred pound transvestite with a skin condition? Yes, she is," replied Sheldon, beginning to worry slightly about his roommate's cognitive processes.

By this point, Penny had heard them talking, and recognizing one of the voices, she smirked to herself before turning around to face them.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the future Nobel Prize winner," she said, shaking her head.

"And if it isn't the future star actress," Sheldon replied with a smirk of his own, strolling over to her open door, quickly followed by his roommate. "How did your audition go today?"

As he followed his taller roommate over to their new neighbor's open door, it finally dawned on Leonard that his roommate apparently somehow knew their new neighbor.

"I should have known something was up when you suggested a specific apartment," replied Penny as she waltzed over, and planted her customary kiss on his cheek. Leonard was momentarily frozen when Sheldon didn't run back to their apartment screaming for Purell. Even Sheldon's girlfriend, Amy, couldn't even touch him on the arm or hold his hand without him twitching.

"And it went well. They want me back tomorrow morning for a second audition, which is more than I've gotten in a while," continued Penny.

"And who is this?" she asked, looking over at Leonard.

"This is my roommate, Leonard," Sheldon replied.

By this point Leonard had become unfrozen again, and remembered the bag of food in his hand.

"Hi," he said, smiling his fool-proof winning smile that never failed to get the girls in his bed; or so he still believed, despite the long list of girls who didn't end up in his bed and the completely non-existent list of girls who did. "Anyway, um. We brought home Indian food. And, um. I know that moving can be stressful, and I find that when I'm undergoing stress, that good food and company can have a comforting effect. Also, curry is a natural laxative, and I don't have to tell you that, uh, a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about."

Momentarily closing his eyes at the pure cringiness of his roommate's supper invitation before opening them again, Sheldon said, "Leonard, I'm no expert here, but I believe in the context of a supper invitation, you might want to skip the reference to bowel movements."

"Oh, you're inviting me over to eat?" Penny replied, trying her hardest not to laugh, before glancing up at Sheldon for a split second, knowing he was internally rolling his eyes as much as she was.

"Uh, yes," Leonard responded, hoping the girl was blonde enough that she didn't catch how awkward his invitation was.

"Oh, that's so nice, I'd love to," answered Penny brightly, hoping to keep Leonard from any more embarrassment than he already had.

"Great!" said Leonard.

His plan was going wonderfully; despite his minor hiccup in inviting her over, it appeared as if she hadn't noticed. He was a little worried about the fact she already knew Sheldon — he scared people off quicker than anything else Leonard knew — but she seemed to be okay, so perhaps she could tolerate living next door to them as long as he kept Sheldon away from her. The kiss bothered him a little bit more, especially since Sheldon hadn't run away screaming, but she and Sheldon clearly knew each other, so perhaps that's just how this girl said hi to people she knew; that could definitely be a plus. Anyway, Sheldon was with Amy, and there's no way the awkward theoretical physicist could ever land a hot girl like this, even if he was single. So this blonde bombshell could totally still be available. And he was going to hit it in no time.

When Penny walked through the door of 4A, the first thing she noticed was the whiteboards in the middle of the room. She knew Sheldon was a genius, but actually seeing his formulas took it to a whole new level.

"Is this your stuff, Sheldon?" she asked, walking over to the boards. "Wow!"

"Yeah, well, it's just some quantum mechanics, with a little string theory doodling around the edges. That part there, that's just a joke, it's a spoof of the Born-Oppenheimer approximation," he replied, as he walked over to the board and pointed out a few things.

"This is really impressive. I mean, I knew you were impressive, but to actually see it…"

"I have a board. If you like boards, this is my board," interrupted Leonard like a petulant child, pointing desperately towards his board.

"So, we gonna eat?" asked Penny, ignoring Leonard and plopping down on the couch.

As soon as Leonard saw her sit down, he thought, _Oh boy, here we go_.

As Sheldon came back from the fridge with waters for himself and Penny, and saw Penny sitting in his spot, he said, "Um, Penny, that's where I sit."

"Oh, I'm sorry," apologized Penny, sliding over a spot. Leonard stared at her in surprise; nobody just moved over because someone said a spot was their's. "So why is that your spot?" she asked as he sat down and handed her one of the waters.

"In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross breeze created by open windows there, and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide to create a parallax distortion," replied Sheldon.

"Wow, you've really thought that out, haven't you?" said Penny. "So, what do you guys do for fun around here?"

"Well, last night we played Klingon Boggle until one in the morning," answered Sheldon.

Trying to get their guest's attention away from Sheldon and embarrassing nerd stuff, Leonard interrupted, "That's probably enough about us, tell us about you."

Ignoring Leonard, Penny looked over at Sheldon, asking, "I assume that's like regular Boggle, just using Klingon instead of English?"

"Yes," answered Sheldon. "You'd probably be pretty good at it; at least better than Leonard, Howard, and Raj, who never take it seriously," he finished, with a glare at his roommate.

* * *

Once supper was over, Penny thanked them again for inviting her over, before heading back to her own apartment to resume unpacking. She expected Sheldon to be over soon to help, as he had told her while Leonard was in the bathroom that as soon as he officially broke up with Amy, he'd be over to help her unpack. So she left the door unlocked and told him to slip in without knocking whenever he came over.

As soon as Penny left, as Sheldon cleaned up the trash, Leonard said dreamily to himself, "I'm totally hitting that."

Not long after that, Amy arrived. Amy had been spending practically all of her free time at 4A, trying to wear Sheldon down so that he would start paying more attention to her, and become physically intimate with her. Her five-year plan to have him bed, wed, and with little Sheldon's running around all over the place was slightly behind schedule, but nothing she couldn't remedy with increased exposure (and she was pretty close to exposing two very specific things to him, whether he wanted her to or not).

Sheldon was at his desk whenever Amy walked in and plopped herself down in the middle seat of the couch. Sheldon closed his laptop, and grabbed a sheet of paper off his desk, before turning around to face Amy.

 _This is finally more like it,_ thought Amy to herself. _He's finally starting to drop whatever nonsense he's doing whenever he sees me. Maybe things are more on track than I thought._

"Amy Farrah Fowler, in accordance with Section 7, Clause 14 of the relationship contract, I am dissolving our contract, as I desire to enter a relationship with another girl," said Sheldon calmly, breaking her out of her reverie.

"Yeah, right, like any other girl besides Amy would ever date you," replied Leonard from his armchair, not bothering to look up from his magazine. "Please. None of us are that stupid. Hell, I don't even think the dumb blonde across the hall is _that_ stupid."

Ignoring Leonard, Sheldon walked over to where Amy was sitting on the middle seat of the couch, and held out the signed relationship contract release form to her. Amy just looked up at him, gaping, unable to believe her ears. Sheldon held out the sheet for a few more seconds, but when it became clear that Amy was not going to take it, he laid it down on the third cushion of the couch, and walked to the door.

"Hey, where are you going?" asked Leonard in his whiny voice. "Amy's here to spend time with you, you can't just leave your girlfriend to go do whatever you want."

"I am going to hang out with my new girlfriend," Sheldon responded, before quickly opening the door and slipping through before Amy or Leonard could respond.

He rushed across the hall and opened that door, slipping through and locking it behind him. Penny looked up from the couch and asked, "So, how'd it go?"

"The yelling in a few seconds will probably tell," responded Sheldon, looking around the room at the boxes and utter chaos.

Sure enough, a second later they heard Leonard yelling, "Sheldon! Stop!", before he rushed down the stairs. Following right behind him came a completely emotionless female voice that Penny could only assume was Amy, yelling, "Sheldon! Sheldon!", before rushing down the stairs after Leonard.

After a few moments of silence, with just the echos of Leonard and Amy's calls drifting up from the stairwell, Sheldon looked at Penny and said, "Shall we begin?"

* * *

Sheldon and Penny spent the next several hours unpacking boxes and arranging her apartment. Sheldon carefully unpacked each of her belongings and individually placed them where he thought they should go (or where Penny told him to put them, though mostly she let him decorate as he pleased), whilst Penny yanked things out and threw them wherever, ignoring Sheldon's glares and frequent replacement of things she'd haphazardly thrown around. By the time Sheldon had informed her that it was his bedtime, they'd unpacked about half the boxes; mostly by Penny, since after the first few minutes Sheldon had spent most of his time following her around and moving everything she unpacked.

Other than being slow, she really wasn't bothered by it, since he'd told her, and she'd quickly learned hanging out with him, that he was a complete OCD neat-freak (well, those were the words she used to describe it in her head). And if it helped him make sense of a world he really didn't understand, she wasn't about to try to change him.

They had yet to hear Leonard or Amy come back by the time Sheldon headed back across the hall for bed.

Normally Penny would have stayed up much later, and finished unpacking, but tonight she was exhausted. Mostly mentally, but somewhat physically as well; all those boxes didn't move themselves up four flights of stairs. But it was really the fight with Kurt that morning as she left that left her most exhausted. Needless to say, he had not taken it well, and she had a headache from all the yelling before she even left his apartment to go to the audition. Plus she had the second audition in the morning. So she decided to go to bed as well.

Thirty minutes later, she was no closer to sleep than she had been that night in college, before she had dropped out, when she had drowned about half a gallon of coffee because she needed to stay up all night studying. Everything Kurt had said to her kept running through her mind; and even though Sheldon had warned her about what he could say, and that none of it was true, it wasn't helping at the moment. It was also the first time she'd truly been alone in four years, and in a completely new apartment to boot. Normally she would have chugged a bottle of cheap wine, but Sheldon had made her promise not to have any wine in her apartment for the first month, so that she wouldn't get drunk and do anything stupid; such as try to get back together with Kurt. Also, during their discussions she had all but admitted to him that she was borderline alcoholic, and she figured he was probably trying to break her of that, even though he didn't say it out loud. But none of this was helping her get to sleep at the moment.

Feeling childish, she sent a quick text to Sheldon, figuring he probably wouldn't get it until the morning; _Hey sweetie, I'm scared and alone and can't get to sleep_

To her surprise, less than a minute later her phone dinged in response; _Stay in bed, I'll be there in two minutes. I might have a way to help you fall asleep._

Less than a minute later, she heard him unlocking her door with the spare key she had given him, and a few seconds after that, her bedroom door opened. The lanky physicist walked over to the bed, and sat down on the edge.

Then he said, "This is normally just for when you're sick, but I supposed lonely and homesick is a kind of sick. Close your eyes."

Once she had done so, he began singing softly, "Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur. Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Purr, Purr, Purr."

After several rounds, all the soft, warm, happy, and sleepy kitties blurred in her mind as she finally drifted off into pleasant dreams about kittens bounding around in fields full of flowers.

* * *

When Penny awoke the following morning, she briefly panicked when she felt someone lying next to her, terrified that her breaking up with Kurt and moving away had all just been a dream, or even worse she had already landed back in his bed. But when she opened her eyes and took in the plaid pajamas of her next-door neighbor, she relaxed. Memories of him singing about kitties flooded her mind, and she realized he must have fallen asleep while singing to her.

She wasn't entirely sure how he'd managed to stay on the bed all night, as his legs were still hanging off the bed, and only his upper half was on the bed, lying flat on his back, hands folded across his chest like a plaid clad vampire. Looking at her alarm clock, she tapped him lightly on the shoulder to wake him up. He sat up suddenly shouting "Danger! Danger!", and promptly fell off the bed.

Once he took in his surroundings, he looked up at Penny and asked, "What am I doing in your room?"

"My guess is that you fell asleep signing that kitty song to me last night," answered Penny as she propped up on one elbow to look down at her neighbor.

"It's 'Soft Kitty', and that's impossible; I can only sleep in my room by myself," replied Sheldon irritably. He wasn't pleased to find himself somewhere other than his room; it completely threw off his schedule.

Penny just rolled her eyes, restraining from pointing out the obvious fact that he had, in fact, slept somewhere other than his room. Instead she said, "You should probably go get ready for work. And I need to get ready for my audition this morning."

* * *

When Sheldon walked into the kitchen thirty minutes later after his shower, he found Leonard sitting at the kitchen island, eating breakfast.

"Where were you last night? You can't just keep disappearing like that," Leonard said accusingly.

"I was with my girlfriend," replied Sheldon, as he reached for a box of cereal on the low end of the fiber spectrum.

"No you weren't, I was with her all night looking for you," retorted Leonard, irritated at his roommate for not telling him where he was.

"No, you were with Amy last night. Amy is no longer my girlfriend, I severed our contract last night; you were there. I was with my new girlfriend last night, like I told you when I left." Sheldon took his bowl of cereal over to his spot on the couch, and noticed that the relationship contract release form was still sitting on the last cushion of the couch, exactly where he had placed it last night.

The rest of Sheldon's breakfast passed in silence as after a couple minutes, Leonard threw his bowl in the sink and went to take a shower. As they drove into work together thirty minutes later, Leonard returned to the subject of Amy, but in expectation of this, Sheldon had already tuned him out and started thinking about work.

* * *

As Sheldon walked up the stairs by himself that afternoon after work, having stopped to get the mail while Leonard headed straight up to the apartment, he decided to stop by Penny's apartment to see how her second audition had gone.

 _Knock, knock, knock_ "Penny"  
 _Knock, knock, knock_ "Penny"  
 _Knock, knock, knock_ "Penny"

A second later, Penny opened the door and let him in.

"Hey sweetie," she said in a chipper tone as she closed the door.

"Hi Penny," replied Sheldon. "I was just wondering how your second audition went this morning."

At this Penny launched into an animated discourse about her audition, and day in general.

"So it went well, I take it?" asked Sheldon ten minutes later, when Penny finally took a breath.

"Yes, very well," beamed Penny.

"I'm glad. I hope you get the part."

He knew it would do wonders for her self-esteem if she got the part.

"Hey Sheldon, want to stay for supper? I was thinking about ordering pizza. I don't have HALO to play, but I do have some classic movies we could watch, if that would be okay."

As Penny ordered the pizza, Sheldon heard Amy walk up the stairs and open the door to 4A.

"Hey Amy," came Leonard's voice, "where's Sheldon?"

"What do you mean? He's not here?"

"He stopped to get the mail. Did you not see him on your way up?" asked Leonard.

"He wasn't outside or at the mailboxes when I came through," replied Amy.

A few moments later, Sheldon heard Leonard and Amy rushing down the stairs, presumably looking for him.

* * *

That evening, as Sheldon lay down, his phone buzzed with another text from Penny; she couldn't get to sleep again, and wanted him to come sing "Soft Kitty" to him again. Grumbling about not being able to sleep not being a type of sickness, he headed across the hall.

After about a dozen rounds, she finally said softly, "I'm really thankful you came over again Sheldon, but it's not working tonight. Sorry."

"I noticed," he replied slightly sadly. "I don't know what else to do, though."

"Let me sleep with you. Please," she begged.

"Penny, you know no one is allowed in my room, especially while I'm asleep."

"Yes, I know," she whined, "but I'm really lonely and scared, and I haven't slept in a bed by myself in years." She gave him the best puppy-dog eyes she could, knowing that he probably couldn't see them in the dark; and even if he could, it's not like that kind of thing worked on him, anyway. She knew she sounded childish, but on the off chance it worked and got her into his warm bed, she wasn't going to complain.

Sheldon sighed, knowing that he was never going to win this argument. And while he despised people being in his room and people touching him, Penny was different. She frequently touched him on the arm or chest, and even kissed his cheek nearly every time he saw her, and he'd never felt an overwhelming need to cleanse himself of whatever germs she had undoubtedly passed on to him, like he normally did any time someone touched him. Perhaps letting her sleep in his bed with him would be the same.

"Fine. But do try to stay on your side of the bed and not touch me," he said.

"Thank you!" she replied excitedly, sitting up and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. As she did so, the sheets slipped down and he saw for the first time what exactly it was she considered to be appropriate sleepwear; needless to say, he did not find it appropriate. "But first, put on some decent clothes. I'm not sleeping with a half-naked woman, even if we are pretending that we're dating."

Penny just rolled her eyes as she climbed out of the bed, and headed over to her dressers. Sheldon slipped back into the living room to let her change, pulling the bedroom door to behind him. Back in the bedroom, Penny took off her tank top and threw on a shirt instead, and threw on some slightly longer shorts over her Hello Kitty boy shorts, before walking out into the living room where Sheldon was waiting on her.

They headed across the hall and into 4A, where Penny followed Sheldon back to his bedroom. Just a few minutes after they had crawled into bed, Penny making sure to leave plenty of space between her and Sheldon, they heard Leonard and Amy enter the apartment, grumbling about not being able to find Sheldon anywhere. They heard Leonard apologize profusely for his roommate's rude behavior, and promise Amy that it wouldn't happen again. Then they heard Amy growl at him that it'd better not, she couldn't have disruptions like this interfering with her five-year plan to have Sheldon bed, wed, and little Sheldon's running around everywhere.

Penny gasped to herself silently at how they were treating Sheldon like their property, and at Amy's five-year plan. She sent up a quick prayer of thanks that she'd talked to him in the restaurant two weeks before, and had been able to help him escape the clutches of that witch.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Sheldon woke up more refreshed than he had in a long time, despite (or perhaps because of) the blonde who was currently using his chest as a pillow. He carefully crawled out from under her, sliding his pillow under her head. He got ready for work as quietly as he could, hoping not to wake her.

As he finished making his oatmeal, Leonard came stumbling into the kitchen sleepy-eyed and irritable, his recent lack of sleep catching up with him. Seeing Sheldon, he collapsed into the nearest island chair and said, "Amy's getting really tired of having to try to track you down every night, and so am I for that matter. I haven't gotten to bed at a decent hour in days now."

Sheldon took his bowl of oatmeal over to the couch and sat down.

"I'm not sure why you keep looking for me, it's really not any of your business where I am. And if you must know, I was at my girlfriend's again."

"Come on, Sheldon. What are you playing at?" said Leonard from his seat at the island. "We all know no girl besides Amy would ever put up with your eccentrics, so stop pretending you have some other girlfriend. And you've been treating your actual girlfriend, Amy, really poorly lately. So tonight you're taking her out on a formal date, and you are kissing her, on the lips, like you mean it."

"Sorry Leonard, but I already have plans. I'm taking my real girlfriend out on a date tonight." Sheldon was thankful Leonard wasn't looking at him, because he could feel his own twitch, and there's no way Leonard would have missed it. At the same time, he pulled out his phone and wrote Penny a quick text (to be sent after he got to work, and she had time to wake up); _Emergency. I had to tell my roommate that I was going to be out on a date with my girlfriend tonight. Is there any chance you are free this evening, and would like company for dinner somewhere?_

Leonard just shook his head, trying to figure out how he was going to trap Sheldon in the apartment after work until Amy got there to take him on their non-optional date. He also wondered if he should take Sheldon to a doctor, as he seemed to be suffering from some kind of delusion, and kept disappearing for hours at a time.

* * *

A few hours into work, Sheldon pulled his phone out of his pocket, and hit send on the text. A minute later he got a reply; _Of course sweetie. I don't have work today, so want to meet for lunch as well?_

Quickly replying in the affirmative, Sheldon got back to work.

Five minutes before Leonard would normally come by his office to pick him up, Sheldon climbed into Penny's car on the far side of the campus. He hit send on a text telling Leonard that his girlfriend was picking him up from work and he wouldn't need a ride home, before turning towards Penny and asking, "How was your day? Have you heard back from your audition yet?"

"It was fine. And no, I haven't heard back yet; I just spent the day finishing up unpacking. Everything's out of the boxes, but I've no doubt you'll want to move everything around and clean everything up. Which is fine, just don't expect me to keep it that way," replied Penny. "How was your day?"

"My day was fine, just unraveling the mysteries of the universe. And I would be more than happy to come over and clean for you on a regular basis."

"We'll see, sweetie. We'll see," Penny replied, lightly patting his arm.

* * *

As they sat down in an ice cream shop near where they had eaten supper together (both of which Penny let Sheldon choose, since she didn't know his full list of approved restaurants yet), Sheldon reached into his bag and pulled out a key. Setting it down in front of Penny, he said, "If you can't get asleep again, here's the key to my room. It will also unlock the front door, though I already gave you the spare key for our front door when you gave me yours. If I'm already asleep, do try and not wake me. I need my REM sleep."

He looked so sincere, that it made Penny want to cry. But she knew that would only disturb him, so she blinked back her tears, and took the key solemnly. Then she pulled the brightly colored flower hair beret that he'd frequently seen her wearing out of her hair. Sheldon watched as she slipped the key into a little pocket built in behind the flower. Seeing him watching her, she said, "I like to make these for fun; I call them 'Penny Blossoms'.One day I had the idea of putting in a little pocket to hide small objects in, but so far this is the only one I've made with a hidden pocket."

An hour later, they found themselves walking up the stairs to Penny's apartment. As they stepped onto the fourth floor landing, they heard voices coming from the inside of 4A.

"Look, I told you already, I don't have a clue where he is. I showed you the text he sent me."

"You promised me a date night! How the hell am I supposed to implement my five year plan if he's never around!?"

"Look, I'm sorry! But I don't know what to tell you. He's been acting strange ever since he blew off your date night two weeks ago when we never could find him."

There was a pause.

"Look, how do you want me to make it up to you?"

"Oh, I think you know how I want you to make it up to me."

"But he could come in at any time."

"That's what your bedroom is for, idiot. I wasn't suggesting having sex on the couch, where he could walk in on us."

"Fine, but if he does come in while we're having sex, you're the one who has to explain what you were doing in my room."

Sheldon and Penny scurried across the hall and slipped into 4B as quietly as they could.

"Did I just hear what I think I heard?" asked Penny in stunned disbelief as soon as her door was safely closed and locked behind them.

"If you mean my ex-girlfriend is about to have coitus with my roommate, then yes," replied Sheldon.

"But it sounded like it wasn't anything out of the ordinary," protested Penny. "Was your girlfriend cheating on you with your roommate the whole time you were dating her?"

Sheldon thought back over the year he had been forced to date Amy. The nights Amy hadn't been around that Leonard hadn't either, but hadn't come home bragging about his latest conquest or whining about a failure. Small looks between Leonard and Amy when they thought he wasn't paying attention. His roommate's words the previous morning; ' _I was with her all night_ '.

"Well, that would make sense. Leonard has always been a slut, though usually a failed one. But he hasn't dated anyone since forcing me to start dating Amy, and he hasn't been hitting on girls nearly as much either. Which only happens when he's already 'getting some', as Howard would put it. And Amy clearly desires coitus, she's made that clear from day one. So it does make sense that they would be using each other to fulfill their sexual desires."

"And you aren't at all upset that your ex-girlfriend was cheating on you with your roommate the entire time you two were dating!?" protested Penny, feeling angry for Sheldon.

"I don't care who she's sleeping with, so long as it isn't me," replied Sheldon, calmly. "I never wanted to be in a romantic relationship with her to begin with. And if it kept Leonard from bragging about everyone he's had coitus with, and kept Amy from raping me, then no. I am not upset."

"Oh." said Penny, realizing the situation from Sheldon's point of view.

"Now, do you mind if I start cleaning?"

* * *

A couple hours later, they finally heard Amy leave. Waiting a few minutes for her to have fully left the building, Sheldon walked back to his apartment to go to bed. After he had closed the door to 4A behind him, Leonard looked up and saw that it was Sheldon. "Where have you been, again!?" he asked angrily. "Amy was here waiting on you for hours."

"I told you where I would be," replied Sheldon as he walked back to his bedroom. He decided against pointing out that Amy hadn't been _passively_ waiting on him. No reason to reveal that he knew what was really going on just yet.

About fifteen minutes after Sheldon had gone to bed, and Leonard shortly thereafter, he heard the apartment door quietly open and close, before his own door did the same a few seconds later. Deciding to pretend he was asleep, he felt Penny crawl under the covers, before curling up next to him with her back against his side. He quickly drifted off to sleep.

Once again, when he woke the following morning, Penny had flipped around and was using his chest as a pillow. Only this time she was already awake.

"Sleep well, sweetie?" she asked softly.

"For having someone in my bed, surprisingly," he responded with a slight smile. "Want some breakfast?"

Several minutes later, Sheldon had just set a plate of pancakes down in front of her when Leonard came walking in. As soon as he saw Penny there, he immediately went into flirt mode.

"Oh, hi Penny, what are you doing here so early?"

"Sheldon invited me for breakfast," she replied with a smile.

"Sheldon, may I have a word with you in private for just a second?" Leonard asked overly cheerful, turning towards his roommate.

"Not if you want to make it to work on time," replied Sheldon, as he poured another batch of pancakes. "Would you like some?"

"It's about your girlfriend," whispered Leonard harshly.

"I highly doubt that," replied Sheldon. "What I believe you mean is that it is about Amy. And honestly, I could care less."

"So Leonard," interrupted Penny loudly, "When do I get to meet your friends? Sheldon's told me all about Howard and Raj and Amy, but I have yet to meet any of them."

"Well, we have pizza and classic video game night tonight, if you'd like to come for that," answered Sheldon. Turning towards his roommate he added, "They are still coming, aren't they?"

"Yeah, yeah," mumbled Leonard. He had been planning on telling them to skip it, so that Amy could deal with Sheldon one-on-one, and whilst she was doing that he could go over to Penny's and see if she was willing to hang out. But even to Leonard having pizza and classic video game night with just Sheldon, Amy, himself, and Penny didn't sound like a smart move. Amy was going to kill him for not giving her a chance to be alone with Sheldon, or at least demand more sex, but it's not like there was anything he could do about it.

* * *

That afternoon, when Leonard got to Sheldon's office to give him a ride home, he found the door locked. At almost the exact same time, he heard his phone ding; _I've got a ride back to the apartment. Pick up the pizza on your way home_.

Wondering who this mystery ride was that Sheldon kept getting (it obviously wasn't a 'girlfriend', no matter what Sheldon had said in his text the day before), Leonard headed off to the pizza place.

When he got back to the apartment, he found Sheldon and Penny on the couch, already playing Super Mario Kart. He'd been hoping to play something different, but when Sheldon wanted to play something, that's what was played. As he sat the pizza boxes down on the coffee table, he said casually, "Penny, you'll have to move. That's Amy's spot. It's kind of like Sheldon's spot, it's nonnegotiable. "

"Sheldon told me I could sit here," replied Penny, never taking her eyes off the screen, where she held a slim lead over Sheldon at the moment.

"Well, you can't," stated Leonard. "That spot's where Sheldon's girlfriend sits."

Penny glanced over at Sheldon to smirk, but Sheldon took the opportunity of her momentary distraction to blow past her for the win.

"Hey! No fair! You can't beat me while I'm distracted!" Penny exclaimed.

"Should've been paying attention," Sheldon smirked back at her.

Penny just rolled her eyes and shook her head, before opening the top pizza box and grabbing a slice. As she leaned back, a plate appeared on her lap.

"Neat freak," she whispered.

"Chaos girl," he countered.

"Hey, those would be good superhero names," said Penny as she took a bite of her pizza.

At that moment, the front door opened and Raj, Howard, and Amy walked in. Almost immediately, Amy looked at Penny and said, "That's my seat. You can sit in the armchair next to Leonard."

"Sorry," replied Penny in a voice that clearly meant the exact opposite, as she took another large bite of pizza. "Sheldon said I could sit here."

"Well, he's wrong. He should know better than to give his girlfriend's seat to someone else," said Amy, glaring at Sheldon. He ignored her, carefully selecting a slice of pizza and placing it on his own plate. Howard took the opportunity to sidle up to Penny, and sit on the third cushion of the couch.

"Enchante Madamoiselle. Howard Wolowitz, Cal-Tech department of Applied Physics. You may be familiar with some of my work, it's currently orbiting Jupiter's largest moon taking high-resolution digital photographs."

"Penny. And I'm taken." Looking up at Raj, she smiled brightly and said, "Hi Raj!"

Raj froze up for a second, before scrambling to the fridge for a beer.

"And you must be Amy," she said to the mousy haired individual who was alternating glares between Sheldon and Penny. When Amy ignored her greeting, Penny added, "I heard there was an open armchair next to Leonard."

"Get. Away. From. My. Boyfriend," Amy growled at Penny, trying to look threatening.

"He's. Not. Your. Boyfriend," Penny replied mockingly. "Ask him. Or just look at this," she added, as she picked up the relationship contract release form from the couch between her and Howard, and held it out to her.

"And who exactly do you think you are, to tell me Sheldon's not my boyfriend?"

"Umm…His new girlfriend?" retorted Penny with mock contemplation.

"Oh, please. Like Sheldon could ever land someone like you," scoffed Amy.

"No wonder you dumped her," said Penny to Sheldon in a stage whisper that they could all easily hear.

"You're dating _Sheldon_? Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D, complete nutcase?" interrupted Howard, disbelievingly. He had a decent sum of money riding on Sheldon reproducing by eating too much Thai food and splitting in half.

Hoping Sheldon wouldn't completely freak out, Penny leaned up and gave Sheldon a really soft, really quick peck on the lips, and said, "Sheldon Cooper, _double_ Ph.D., and the man who has a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains."

By this point, Leonard's brain had finally caught up to the discussion. "You can't date Penny!" he screamed at Sheldon. "I saw her first! I called dibs on her!"

"And would that be before or after you started having coitus with Amy?" asked Sheldon calmly.

Howard and Raj's heads jerked around to gape at Leonard and Amy.

"Wait, never mind," continued Sheldon. "You two have been sleeping together since you forced me to start dating her a year ago."

"What? No…I haven't…We haven't…We would never do anything like that," stuttered Leonard.

"We heard you last night, isn't that right, Penny?" asked Sheldon, looking down at the blonde next to him.

"Yep," she replied, popping the 'p'. "Loud and clear."

No need to clarify that they'd merely heard them _talking_ about it, not actually _doing_ it, thought Penny to herself.

When Leonard and Amy didn't say anything for several seconds, Howard finally said, "What the _frak_? You two are sleeping together!? How long?"

"Hey! I was just doing it to appease Amy so she wouldn't leave Sheldon before he _finally_ started providing for her!" shouted Leonard defensively. "It's not like she was cheating on him when he wasn't even having sex with her to begin with!"

"Pretty sure that's still cheating," said Penny. And then added so quietly only Sheldon's Vulcan hearing could hear her, "And if there's anything I know about, it's cheating."

"You stay out of this!" yelled Leonard, turning savagely at the blonde. "You're just some stupid pretty face that'll never amount to anything who probably cheats on your neanderthal boyfriends all the time."

At this, Sheldon had had enough. Even with the recent audition and call-back, he knew Penny was still fragile enough as it was from her breakup with Kurt, without being reminded by his roommate and one-time friend of everything Kurt did and said to her. Leaping up, he towered over his seated roommate and growled, "You will never, ever, speak about Penny like that again."

"Or you'll do what?" retorted the homunculus, jumping up to face his lanky roommate. "She's obviously just some dumb-blonde slut who doesn't belong in our highly intelligent—"

He never finished his sentence. Sheldon's fist connected with his face, and sent him flying over the back of the chair, sprawled out on the ground, nose bleeding profusely.

"Come along, Penny," said Sheldon calmly, reaching for Penny's hand. "I believe we'd have a much more enjoyable evening elsewhere." And hands intertwined, they walked out of the apartment.

Staring at Leonard for several seconds, Howard and Raj finally looked at each other, and then back down at Leonard.

"I think Sheldon's got the right idea," Howard said.

Raj nodded in agreement, the beer not yet having had time to remove his female-induced muteness, and both of them stood and made their way to the door.

"You can't leave!" said Amy. "What about Leonard?"

Howard just shrugged his shoulders, saying, "You're the one sleeping with him," before opening the door and walking out, with Raj following close behind.

* * *

Over in Penny's apartment, Sheldon had led Penny over to her couch, and sat her down. He knew she was on the brink of tears, but didn't know how to stop them. Sitting down next to her, he did the only thing he could think of, and wrapped his arms around her awkwardly, saying, "There, there. Sheldon's here."

Penny gave out a mirthless chuckle, intermingled with a few stifled sobs. "You really have a lot to learn about comforting an upset girl," she responded kindly as she maneuvered to wrap her arms around him and bury her face in his chest.

"I know, Kitten," he replied, and just held her.

After several minutes of silence — silence on his part, silent tears on her part — Sheldon spoke again, softly. "You know you are none of those things Leonard said, right? And I imagine Kurt said many of the same things both before, and when, you broke up with him. But they are not true."

In the three days since she'd broken up with Kurt, she hadn't talked at all about what had happened, but he knew it had taken a toll on her, and having been bullied his entire life, he had some understanding of what she was going through.

Penny smiled into his shirt. He might be the worst at comforting, but at least he was trying, and that was worth something. And it was surprisingly making her feel better.

"Thank you. And sorry about the kiss; but I wanted to make sure they really believed it."

"It's okay," replied Sheldon. "It was surprisingly more enjoyable than I expected."

"Wait till you actually kiss for real," Penny teased back.

"Now let's not get carried away."

As Sheldon sat there, thinking back over why he was even friends with Leonard in the first place, he realized Penny had fallen asleep in his arms. Having heard Amy leave with Leonard to go to the hospital, Sheldon carefully picked her up and carried her across the hall and back to his bedroom, where he tucked her in before heading back out to the living room. He went back across the hall and picked out some _reasonable_ sleep clothes for her, and tiptoeing back into his bedroom, laid them on the table next to the bed so she could change into them if she woke up.

Going back into his living room, he made himself a cup of tea, and pulled up his laptop.

* * *

Penny woke up to find herself alone, but carefully tucked into Sheldon's bed. She glanced over to the alarm clock on the table, and noticed the clothes he'd set there for her. She got up and quickly changed, not wanting to sleep in jeans for the rest of the night. She momentarily thought about going out into the living room to see what Sheldon was doing, but if he was working she didn't want to bother him, and she didn't want to run the risk of running into Leonard or Amy, so she crawled back into bed and fell asleep again.

The second time she awoke, she noticed that her pillow seemed to be breathing softly, and the early morning sun was staring to peak through the windows. As she listened to his soft breathing, she wondered when it had become normal for her to wake up next to him. It was only the fourth time she'd done so, but in as many nights since she'd broken up with Kurt, and it already felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Unbeknownst to her, her pillow was thinking the exact same thing. Only for Sheldon, he was wondering how it had become normal for him to be in this close of proximity to a girl without completely freaking out. He had only known her for a little over two weeks, and yet he was already closer to her than he was to any of his old friends he'd known for years. And certainly closer than the girl he'd 'dated' for a year.

* * *

An hour later, Sheldon and Penny were sitting on the couch eating French Toast that Penny had made, and watching Doctor Who. Penny sat curled into Sheldon's side, and Sheldon had his arm lightly around her shoulder when Leonard opened the door and walked in.

"Amy's still willing to forgive you, you know," Leonard said coldly to Sheldon as he skulked by on the way to the kitchen.

"Forgive him for what? He never did anything wrong!" exclaimed Penny in disbelief. "Punching you, or breaking up with Amy!"

As Leonard came back from the kitchen with a bowl of cereal and sunk into the armchair, he said grumpily, "I still can't believe you stole my girl. I saw her first, even you should know better than to break the bro code."

"And what part of the bro code includes sleeping with your roommate and supposed best friend's girlfriend?" asked Sheldon.

"And I hardly think you saw me first, considering I met Sheldon two and half weeks ago, and met with him most days in the two weeks before I moved next to you guys," added Penny.

"You were cheating with Penny for two weeks and you dare accuse me of cheating with Amy!?" yelled Leonard, upsetting his bowl of cereal (it was an easily upsettable bowl; it had a very fragile ego).

"I was merely friends with Penny those two weeks, helping her work up the courage to break up with an abusive boyfriend. And you have been cheating with Amy for a year."

"You break her up with her boyfriend and start dating her immediately after, and you don't call that cheating!?"

"As neither of us were dating anyone when we started dating, no, I don't call that cheating. I helped her escape an abusive relationship with a cheater and she helped me escape an abusive relationship with a cheater, and in the process we realized we had a lot in common."

"You weren't in an abusive relationship!" screamed Leonard. "Amy is the only person who ever has, or ever will, love you!"

Though he didn't say anything, Sheldon wondered if that was really true; or rather, whether it was true that no one would ever love him, as he knew for a fact that Amy didn't really love him. He was beginning to suspect that his friendship with the blonde currently curled into his side was a little more complicated than they were pretending.

* * *

Sunday afternoon, as Sheldon and Penny were walking back from the comic book store (Amy refused to go anywhere near there, and Leonard had stopped taking him ever since Sheldon had stopped giving in to Amy's every whim two weeks earlier; so it had been several weeks since Sheldon had been), Penny's phone rang. As the person on the other end talked, her face suddenly lit up.

"I got it! I got it!" she squealed as she hung up, jumping up and down and throwing her arms around Sheldon, hugging him tightly.

"I take it that was the tv series you auditioned for?" asked Sheldon, as Penny let go. "Congratulations."

"Yes! I start filming tomorrow," said Penny, beaming from ear to ear. "And they think the part could be even bigger than they originally said."

* * *

Over the next several weeks, Penny started driving Sheldon to work on her way to filming. Tensions were still extremely high between Sheldon and Leonard, and though Leonard would let Sheldon ride with him any time Penny couldn't drive him (probably due to some clause in the Roommate Agreement Penny thought), neither Sheldon nor Leonard wanted to ride together; Sheldon didn't want to have to listen to Leonard's ongoing attempts to put him and Amy back together, and Leonard still wouldn't accept that Sheldon had broken up with Amy and didn't believe Sheldon was really with Penny. He was also still angry at being punched and Sheldon stealing "his girl" as he referred to Penny.

Penny would also pick him up after work unless she was still filming, and on any nights Howard and Raj couldn't come over, Sheldon would move whatever night it was over to Penny's apartment, to avoid Leonard and Amy, who continued to hound Sheldon anytime they were alone with him.

About a month after Penny moved into apartment 4B, Leonard came storming into the living room one evening. Sheldon was sitting at his desk, working on his latest paper on string theory, and Penny was sitting on the couch, reading over her lines for the following day's filming. The tv series had been a hit so far, as had her character, and the studio was in the process green-lighting an additional ten episodes.

"If you're going to keep up this charade of dating my girl, I'm leaving and moving in with Amy," Leonard declared authoritatively to Sheldon and the room at large.

"Okay," replied Sheldon, not bothering to look up from his laptop. "Don't forget that you'll still owe me your half of the rent for the remaining four months on the apartment lease, plus the fourth month after we moved in that you never payed your half of. So five months total."

"I'm dead serious Sheldon," admonished Leonard. "Give up my girl, or I'm moving out this weekend."

"Not to interrupt this obviously heated debate," interrupted Penny, "but am I the only one who finds it slightly ironic that if Sheldon doesn't give up the girl you want, you're going to move in with a _different_ girl? There just seems to be something slightly off about that."

"She does have a point, you know," added Sheldon from his desk, finally turning to face Leonard. "If you can't have girl A — which you can't — you're threatening to move in with girl B who you've been sleeping with for over a year. Which makes me wonder why girl A would even consider being with you, even if she wasn't already with someone else."

"And then there's the question of whether you would continue sleeping with girl B even if you did get girl A," continued Penny. "Because unless girl B could get the guy she was originally going after, I doubt she'd be too pleased at suddenly being cut off."

"Enough!" interrupted Leonard, practically steaming at the ears. "This isn't a threat. Sheldon, if you don't give up this nonsense with Penny and start dating Amy again, your one true love, by this weekend, I'm moving out!"

"Need any help packing?" asked Sheldon as he turned back to his laptop and started typing.

* * *

Saturday morning, as Sheldon and Penny lay in Sheldon's bed, listening to the sounds of Leonard and Amy packing, as Howard and Raj roamed around, making sure Leonard and Amy didn't try to steal any of Sheldon's things, Sheldon looked over at Penny.

"We aren't really just friends anymore, are we?"

"No…I don't think so," replied Penny carefully. "Is that okay?"

"I think so. Yes." said Sheldon thoughtfully. "Does this mean we actually are dating, like we've been telling everyone for the past month?"

"If you want it to, I suppose it can," replied Penny. "I hadn't planned on dating this soon after Kurt, but since we have been pretending to date for a month now and I've been okay, I think it would be okay, if we continued to take it slowly. But actually dating does mean you're eventually going to have to kiss me again, you realize that, right?"

"It wasn't as bad as I expected," said Sheldon, thinking back on the one time Penny had kissed him; the night Penny had met Howard, Raj and Amy for the first time, and Leonard had ended up in the hospital. "I suppose I could eventually do it again, as long as it was with you."

"Then I suppose we're dating for real now."

 **~~The End~~**


End file.
